One of my favourite blogs for a long time has been Tinselman (mentioned here and here, so it must be true). A few weeks ago, this lover of cryptozoology and forgotten kingdoms ran a post about the now-extinct long horse. That he could actually provide his readers with images – so much a condition sine qua non in this age of skeptics – was due to the recent discovery of a number of old postcards by dapper German researcher Hardy Burmeier.
However, for the world that was not enough. In his comments, people were screaming hoax faster than you can say Holy Horatio Hornswoggle. Luckily some attentive readers went in against the current and provided us with some first-hand accounts. I pitched in with my own contribution, a photograph of the long horse firmly situated in carolingian tradition.
First, about the long horse:
The long horse was strong, handsome and could carry up to four people at one time but, because of overwork, the horses tended to die young and, to put it bluntly, the population was eventually used to death.
Some readers were saying these images were clearly photoshopped (some of them even had their own proof for that), others turned to philosophical logic to reason the creatures to extinction. Some even credited their own knowledge of horse breeding in saying this must all be false:
Any horseperson who knows two wits about the Lippizzan breed would recognize that the Ballotade is one of the ‘airs above the ground’ that are performed uniquely by Lippizans [...] and that the name Neapolitana Santuzza means that the horse in the photo was descended from the Lippizzan stallion Neapolitano…
Many also point to the fact that there is no mention of these beast anywhere on the net (although that is untrue as well, see here and here) and that not even Wikipedia has an entry on it. Alas, that too is untrue. Chances are, though, that this article will not remain online for long (don’t worry, screenshots have already been captured), since it has come to the attention of Tinselman that the wheels of conspiracy and cover-up have already been set in motion. Someone has even gone so far as to circulate an image in which the horse has been carefully photoshopped out!
Before:
After:
As any expert can tell you, the severe discolouring in these images clearly indicates some form of photo-manipulation. But, fret not, you advocates of the Equus longus, the story of the long horse will not perish with us. It has taken over the blogosphere and it is being reported on as we speak. Some people even, are still adding to the already large volume of references, such as Max Dohle from the Netherlands, who remembers the long horse from a well-known childhood story book, Puk van de Petteflet by Annie MG Schmidt.
No doubt this story will soon grab the attention of traditional media and these hoaxers will be unveiled as such so that we can all return to the serious study of this famed and once much-loved creature.
The post header picture is of a rare Calotype, dated 1856, kindly provided to me in my research by professor JKM Landgraaf of the Instituut en Archief voor Equestrische en Andere Grappenmakerij in Tielt-Wingene in the province of West-Flanders.
3 December 2006 at 11:39 am
Wow, you learn a new thing everyday. I am speechless.
3 December 2006 at 8:43 pm
I’ve actually met Prof. Landgraaf and seen the other calotypes and daguerrotypes he curates at the Instituut (they have a fantastic collection of hand-colored lantern slides of these longhorses, too) while I was doing my diss research (in Luilekkerlandaardrijkskunde– they have some documents on that, too). A really warm, affable guy, but I think he’s retiring soon.
Grapjewaardering-Wetenschap (as the faculty was called at U Ghent while I was doing research there) is really under-appreciated, practically a dead science. I’ve noted that as a major problem in many of the postings at the other site; the lack of recognition of others’ knowledge and labor is making a ignorant mockery out of a serious study.
3 December 2006 at 11:52 pm
*making some strange sounds*
I’ve never ever heard of something like this. What a creature. Or what I shall call it. I almost hoped it wouldn’t be true…
What a load on that spine of the horse! That calls for some disk hernias to happen. Poor horse.
And a Lippizzaner of all horses, they are such lively horses, full of muscles and life. I know I have own “half” a Lippizaner earlier for a couple of years and become interested in them.
I still can’t believe it!!!!!
3 December 2006 at 11:55 pm
Well, Mrs L, just between you and me: I really wouldn’t if I were you ;-)
4 December 2006 at 1:42 am
I want to believe.
5 December 2006 at 2:59 am
It’s all true. Longhorses were mankind’s greatest ally in the long battle for civilization, and how have we repaid them?
And there is even a longdonkey; they’re extinct in their native Kazakhstan, but survivors of that original population survive today in the Australian Outback.
5 December 2006 at 7:30 am
Hey Raincoaster. Glad to hear we think alike. I checked out your links. Super stuff!
6 December 2006 at 3:50 pm
Glad you liked it.
WordPress seems to be all over the Longhorse issue! Archie’s Archive is now #1 on Google for longhorse, but it’s his animated gif of the Shorthorse that is truly remarkable.
6 December 2006 at 10:10 pm
check out one of the pictures on Hardy Burmeier page, there’s a “long dog”. no kidding!! that really makes me wonder about the facts.
7 December 2006 at 9:06 am
So this Long Horse really existed?
14 December 2006 at 11:41 am
[...] I can’t remember how I found ‘No Dependencies No Logo‘, but I’m extremely glad I did. Nils Geylen, the author of NDNL is a very articulate and expressive writer whose every post is worth a read. He writes about a number of things, varying from life in Belgium and the English language to his Web 2.0 addiction and elongated horses. [...]
3 February 2007 at 2:53 pm
Hardy Burmeier is the ARTIST responsible for the sc long horses. There is an article in German about his work (he won a prize for this series of a kind of a ‘metahorse’) the article can be found here: http://www.sparkasse-re.de/cms/media/relaunch_2006-03/ueber_uns/foerderung/kunstpreis_2000.pdf
18 March 2008 at 2:14 pm
OK explain to me why that so called long horse has the head of a Lippizaner, experienced horse people can tell the difference between breeds just by looking at a horses head and the horse pictured jumping off the embankment clearly has a different shaped head, more like a thouroughbred and the grey in the pic from the 60’s is different again, and also I find it suspicious that the saddle are all identical with the exact same shadowing, what a load of BS!
18 March 2008 at 4:01 pm
Thanks Sam, for that comment.
Of course one could argue that horse people should have a look at some of the crucial elements of this story first?
Like, have a look at Tinselman itself, the site where this originated? Or find out what the words “cryptozoology” or, um, “hoax” actually mean?
Still, every input is appreciated so we can finally find out the truth here. We need the truth!
21 March 2008 at 1:27 am
I did check out Tinselman and these pics clearly look distoted to me, what I thought was really rediculous though was another site that had a pic of a suposed long horse with eight saddles and the most hilarious extended body i’d ever seen. In reality the longest horse I have ever seen was a standard bred back in the eighties, his body was quite long but nothing like these distoted pics, the painting at the top of this page for example looks clearly stretched out and it is blury, check out the thickness of the horses legs and length of the neck and back. I am open minded but during the 30 years I have been involved with horses neither I or anyone I know who are horse people have ever heard anything about a long horse, honestly it’s all way too sus for me guys.
21 March 2008 at 11:40 am
Obviously, you’re not entirely grasping this. Let me, to speak in horse people terms perhaps, put you out of your misery.
The top picture is “distoted” [sic] because I “distoted” it myself. I googled “horse”, fired up Photoshop and messed it up. It’s a fake, as is the entire story. A joke, a hoax, a short-lived but entirely hilarious internet meme I enjoyed being a part in very much.
Robyn Miller from Tinselman loves this kind of stuff (he co-created Myst, by the way, that should give you an idea), and I love it too.
So, I’m genuinely happy with your interest and comments, don’t get me wrong, but it’s simply useless discussing this as if it were real. Of course, there is no long horse, as much as there are no unicorns, leprechauns or garden gnomes.
I hope that resolves some of your anxiety over this.
22 March 2008 at 4:42 pm
Hey! I believe their was unicorns! If you watch discovery channel, they said that in the early 1760’s people would catch them and cut off their horns to sell in the market. I also believe the “long horse”. It could have existed long ago, and died out, so dont be making fun of these beautiful animals. We will find out shortly if they existed. You people are filled with shit….
27 March 2008 at 12:00 pm
And I believe in santa clause and the tooth fairy!!!! LOL you guys crack me up, seriously this is a riot.
28 September 2008 at 4:59 am
crazy pic how did you make it look like that???
29 September 2008 at 9:34 am
Just stretched it, added some blur and some grittiness. That’s it.
13 October 2008 at 4:37 am
well i really want to believe it! someone please prove and recreate the long horse what a wonderful creature it would be…